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Confidence in Dating: Why You Should Become More ConfidentI once read the results of a survey
in a leading woman's magazine that said the number 1 most attractive
quality in a man was confidence. Not arrogance, confidence. It
took some time to sink in as to what this really meant. Did it
mean grabbing the girl in matinee idol pose and whisking her backwards
whilst I kissed those luscious lips of hers? Did it mean turning
into a caveman never taking no for an answer? Did it mean turning
up at the door of the girl next door and whisking her off to Paris
for the weekend, though we had hardly spoken? What did they mean
by confidence? The quest was on it find out.
Every woman I have asked will
answer in a different vein so the answer isn't all things to all
men. Confidence, it appears, is in the eye of the beholder. Even
worse, confidence can easily be misconstrued so one has to tread
carefully. The point is not confidence itself, but its easier
to define by its opposite, fear. Fear in men is not attractive.
Fear defines a man as not knowing his own value, lacking a feeling
of self worth, not being sure of his abilities, lacking in presence
and determination. This I may add is very different from justifiable
fear that we all face.
Okay, back to confidence. Men
are attractive when they are confident said one friend. Another
told me, "ooh a confident man makes me go weak at the knees".
So I pressed them further. A confident man it seems is one who
carries with him a self-assuredness that is most definitely not
arrogance. It is a state where a man feels sure of himself and
his abilities, knows what he is about, knows himself for what
he can do,, what he may be able to do, what he may fail at but
does not fear to try. A confident man is in control of his destiny,
his future, his career, his day. And to many women that is very
attractive.
After all, a woman is looking
for a partner, one who will not only match with her mentally and
physically, but someone who can drive her onwards, someone who
has ambition and vitality, someone who can pass hi self assuredness
on to her. A man who is confident is sexy because he is comfortable
with himself, he is in control and he is able to make decisions,
good decisions. He is confident in the choices he makes and in
choosing you (maybe really you selected him), he passes this feeling
of being special on to you. Being selected by the right man can
be very sexy indeed.
If you are going to date the beauty
in the corner and father her children then running away is not
a good start, neither is feeling bad about yourself and failing
to be able to hold a decent conversation. Far too many men decide
in advance of an approach if they are worth of a woman's attentions
or not. All too often they believe they are not. Except where
alcohol is involved. Men in bars exude confidence, but they also
exude beer breath as well! No the fact is that guys who lack confidence
prejudge most situations and inevitably take themselves out of
the dating fray before it ever happens, hoping, strangely, that
the woman will make the first move.
The fact is, the confident
men more often than not get the girl, because the confident
man
has something about him. I know plenty of good looking handsome
men who are afraid to approach women so its not necessarily
about
looks. No, its about something within. Confidence is about self
respect and self understanding. It comes from understanding
what
you yourself are about and when this happens a sexy man reaches
out. Often lack of confidence in men is because of physique
and
yet it is an issue so easy to fix. 12 weeks in a gym will change
a man's life. A fit man is a confident man. Dress is also
something
that instills confidence. No man has an excuse for not dressing
reasonably smart these days as fashion for men is everywhere.
Ultimately we all lose confidence
from time to time. People can take our confidence away at work
or at home, in partnerships and on our own. Ultimately though
these are passing phases. If a man can do one thing for
himself in the dating game, that is to learn about his own confidence
levels in an honest way and then go about doing something to increase
them. Feel good about yourself guys and someone will feel good
about you.
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